Plastic pitch; whatever next? Just when I think this season canny get any dafter, up pops another surprise. So, no' good enough for the Champs League final but deemed playable by the beaks at the Scottish League. It would be nice tae luxuriate in excuses about the underfoot conditions. Is it any wonder that the Candy Stripes struggled - real teams play on grass (ho-hum.....).

It would be comforting if we could say that we were simply washed away by a far better side. That too is, of course, bollox! Naw - if we're being completely truthful, the reason that we lost today is because every last one of them had their minds on different things. Put yer cash on Dumbarton doin' us next week - until we get the Huns' game oot the way, there's no' one of them who's gonny put in a proper tackle, ha'e a real stretch fur the baw or, God forbid, have a run at goal. Remember lads, you might no' get injured but you could still get dropped....

It could all have been so different. For half an hour, Montrose were utter mince. How bad a team is it when their goalie canny even take a bye-kick without risking chibbin' the fans in the main stand? The laughable thing was that the tactic of hoofin' it oot the park seemed to be part of some strategic planning from our hosts. Mebbe it worked, mind. Eventually Montrose came intae the game and everything seemed to be going down the left wing but by then they'd obviously lulled Ryan Blackadder off tae sleep; naewhere tae be seen for the most part. Hey, Ryan, it wasnae just the pitch that was plastic

With the Gable Endies growing in confidence and our lads looking like they were more worried about chipping their nail varnish, it was only a matter of time before the Blues scored. But what a devastating time tae do it - a minute from the break. The locals were still celebrating Keith Gibson's screamer of an opener when the roof well and truly fell in and they scored another. Just a speculative cross (from the left of course) into the box but whenever young Fox changed his mind and decided no' tae come for it, the inevitable happened and Montrose scrambled the ball away to double their lead with the second last kick of the half. Stevie Nick had enough time to restart the game before it was up the tunnel for a collective boot in the baws from Mr Baikie.

The team talk obviouslty did the trick - at least now we were looking half-hearted about trying to claw ourselves back into the game. To be fair, we were unlucky not to grab one back right after the restart, young O'Reilly unfortunate to see his great effort come bouncing back off the bar. After that we had probably our best ten minutes of the game - but even that failed to see the Montrose keeper under any kind of pressure. But pushing forward (even lethargically) left us open to the counter attack and just before the hour mark Montrose scored another. John Baird pick up on a sloppy Fife pass and broke for goal, young Fox performing heroics with the first effort but helpless when Scott Gates followed up.

Three down with half an hour to go and no' much of anything giving the four hundred fans who'd made the trip north much in the way of confidence. The points were gone and the best we could hope for was East Stirling slipping up at home against Stranraer. And as they were two up at the break, you can imagine the joy at full time when we discovered that, somehow, we were still top of the pile. That and a late consolation penalty goal after Stevie Nicholas was put on his arse by the Montrose keeper was about as good as it was gonna get this afternoon. Looks like Chico picked the right week tae fuck off tae Canada!

See ye all next week at Dumbarton (ah wis only kiddin' about them beatin' us, by the way). C'mon the Fife!

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