I set off for today's game before lunchtime and didnae get home until about half seven (granted, I had popped intae Morrisons on the way home tae pick up a few beers...). Between times, I somehow contrived to get lost in Forfar (fuckin' unbelievable; one of ma best pals is fae the town an' ah've been here hunners a times), and get fuckin' drookit as the heavens opened. To prove that God's got a sense of humour, he then made sure that there was a force ten gale blowin', just in case there was any danger of me drying off and warming up a bit.

Steven Tweed took a far more intelligent approach this afternoon, choosing to score the opener after just four minutes, boss the game thereafter from the centre of our defence, and then deciding that sixty five minutes was more than enough for anyone to suffer in these conditions. His petulance in kicking the ball away (fuck sake, Stevie, how old are you....?) after the ref had awarded the Loons a free kick would normally have had my blood boiling - needless, stupid sending off, team-mates now under pressure etc, etc, etc. But, today, ah'm givin' the big man the man of the match award. We'd already sewn up the points, should probably have scored more, were under no real pressure, and he was cold, wet and miserable. Nae wonder he wanted intae the shower early. It was FUCKIN' FREEZING!

The big man had played a blinder and had gotten us off to a perfect start. In our first attack, the Forfar defence just about managed to clear it for a corner. Cameron jogged over, smacked in a great cross and as the Loons' keeper flapped and fluffed, the ball came out to the penalty spot. Tweedie was unmarked in loads of space and casually headed the ball back towards goal. Despite the fact that Smart and McDonald had somehow found themselves on the Forfar goal line (miles offside), the officials turned a blind eye and the goal stood. Great start; already the Loons looked like a beaten side and it was now just a question of how many we'd score today.... I reckoned half a dozen would be nice.

Already I had a headline for the match report - "Bridies Washed Down By A Fife Six Pack". However, despite having plenty of chances to add to our tally, a combination of bad luck, shitey weather, desperate defending and (no' tae put too fine a point on it) pish finishing meant that Forfar, for all their rubbishy play, were allowed to stay in this one. Fifteen minutes in, Dougie Cameron (Forfar were so bad that out full backs were havin' a go....) came close to doubling the lead but was disappointed to see the ball being cleared off the line. At the midpoint of the first half, however, we should definitely have scored. Paul McManus skillfully outwitted the Loons' offside trap and was left one-on-one with their keeper. We'll be generous and say he was unlucky - if truth be known, he should have done better (but mebbe ah'm just pissed off that ah had tae think of a different headline....)

Perhaps our best chance fell to Bobby Linn just before the interval but, somehow, they were again able to scramble the ball away. Give 'the Boaby' his due, mind; within a minute of the re-start he'd redeemed himself and doubled our lead. Ryan Blackadder slid through a fantastic, defence-splitting pass and Linn easily fired home from just outside the Forfar box. It was nothing less than the forward deserved but all the plaudits must surely be awarded to Blackadder. I've been critical of him for most of the season so far but today I thought he played outstandingly well. He dismissed all his silly wee fancy touches and, instead, concentrated on playing simple, straightforward football. He was a revelation! So Ryan, just as we all suspected, you can actually play.... Keep it up!

It would have been lovely if we could have built on that opening move but as dark descended and the weather turned even worse. I'm originally from the west coast so I know rain when I see it but it's been some time since I saw horizontal rain - that was just about enough for our captain. He's got a great footballing head on his shoulders so why should we ever doubt that there's more than football intelligence in his brain? Just past the hour mark he'd had enough. He disguised it perfectly, hoofin' the ball up the park just as the ref blew. But you can't hide talent like that from me, big man. Oot came the yellow card, followed half a second later by the red. You looked distraught, disconsolate and..... thoroughly chirpy as you trotted off the pitch and up the tunnel for first use of the soap and guaranteed hot water.

The immediate aftermath of the sending off allowed Forfar to have their fifteen minutes (well, five minutes, maybe...) of fame. Well, to be fair, they held onto the ball reasonably well for a wee while and, until we had time to reorganise at the back, looked like they might even give young Fox something to do. As it was, he needn't have bothered turning up. The poor young bugger had to stand there in sub zero temperatures with rain drippin' off his nose for most of the game. Wonder if he thought it would be this glamorous when he put pen to paper on that Celtic contract! But ah' don't suppose he'll be complaining too much; that's another shut-out he'll be able to include on his ever expanding resume.

Meanwhile, at the other end, McManus and Linn kept working hard trying to find another opening. Their efforts were eventually to prove fruitless but their hard work was recognised by team mates and fans alike. Both were substituted in the dying minutes and would have been happy to hear the applause that came from the East Fife fans who'd made the trip - again outnumbering the locals, by the way.... I suppose that's why there was nothing but cheers to be heard when the Loons' John Ovenstone was given his marching orders five minutes from the end. He'd been so quiet throughout the game I couldn't even remember his first yellow card....

The ref finally blew for full time and the points were won. With no let up in the rain, it was off to the High Street as quickly as possible for me, a bus back to Dundee and then another back tae Fife. It was just too dreich tae stay so I must apologise to the two guys I met on the way tae the game. One was a Blue Nose, the other an East Stirling fan who confessed to me that he couldnae stand Albion Rovers so would rather come all the way tae Forfar (tae watch a proper team) than stay in Falkirk and watch his own. Wi' the Shire three one up at the break I'd thought that he'd have been please enough - it was only when ah got hame and saw the final result that ah was glad that ah'd simply buggered off instead of meeting him in the Plough.... Don't think ah'd have been able tae keep the grin aff ma face....

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