Where do I start? Seven goals (four chalked off by the cheat), a world class save from our on loan keeper, three points straightforwardly secured and, just to make sure that we all get our money's worth, a psychotic display of such violence that the culprit, Forfar's Paul Lunan (or should that be 'Loonie'?), will worry more about a visit fae the local constabulary than any suspension from the League. And that half-wit, Chico, thought it would be more fun at the 'Connect Four' festival. Aye, away you tae Canada, Mikey!

So while daft boy listened to the dulcet tones of Ms Bjork, you, me and those foul mouthed (even for Methil) rascals up at the end of the stand enjoyed another outstanding performance from the Fife. After such a big result on Tuesday, there was a chance that we'd be a bit subdued this afternoon. We needn't have worried - the definition of a big team must surely mean that they're up for it every game at whatever level. This afternoon the Fife proved that they're well on their way to being a big team!

Right from the start we hussled and harried the visitors - as it turned out, the best that Forfar could muster in the whole of the first half was a couple of long range efforts that young Fox was more than able to cope with. At the other end, meanwhile, it was simply a question of how long it was gonna take to start piling in the goals.

With neither the nearside linesman nor the ref remembering to put in their contact lenses, we were to be frustrated until ten minutes before the break. Prior to that, we'd had the ball in the net twice (both ruled off for apparent infringements - your guess is as good as mine) and one in the 25th minute that was cleared by the Forfar defender from about three yards inside his own goal. Even our opponents looked resigned to the goal and were as flabbergasted as us when the ref waved play-on! Check the photos below - the first one was taken AFTER the defender had headed it!

But despite the shite from our visitors and the evil machinations of the officials, it was only a matter of time before our superiority was to show; man of the match, Craig O'Reilly, unselfishly setting up Ryan Blackadder in the thirty sixth minute who fired home with aplomb. The fact that we were only one goal to the good when the half time whistle sounded is a question that will baffle philosophers in a hundred years' time. Needless to say, we'd completely controlled the first half and, on the basis of the feeble showing from Forfar so far, there was no reason to believe that things would be any different in the second forty five.

We continued the knock the ball around but failed to add to our advantage. And that was almost to cost us dear. Forfar's first real move forward came on seventy minutes when they blasted a speculative shot from thirty yards. Without the deflection off the defender, the save would have been a cracker but young Fox's reactions were outstanding as he somehow managed to change direction and knock the ball over the bar. Simply outstanding goalkeeping; nothing more to be said about it.

That got the crowd going and, as a result, the lads on the park seemed to grow in stature. Less than ten minutes later we doubled our lead, Craig O'Reilly again the provider as he fired over a great cross from the right wing which was met perfectly by Dougie Cameron who rose swanlike (granted, a big, ugly swan) and headed home. Poetry in motion....

Which all seemed to be too much for Forfar's Paul Lunan. For eighty two minutes the game had been played in the best of spirits with both teams going at it hard but fair. But enough was enough. The Loonatik took offence to something that Gary Greenhill said, the Fifer doing well to jook oot the way of a fine right hook. Even as the ref was reaching for his red card, daft boy was ready for round two against all-comers and stuck the nut on Kevin Fotheringham.

The Loonie headed for an early bath but, seein' as it's all dark in the tunnel, didnae want to go on his own. Team-mate, Steve McInally, decided tae get in on the act and grogged on big Kev - fuckin' arsehole! It was enough, however, to ensure that Forfar would play the last eight minutes with nine men.

Which was just enough time for East Fife to score another two goals, one inevitably chalked off by the twat wi' the whistle. The other, Cameron's second, a stonker from close range that not only secured the points but kept our average at three goals a game. And at ten quid a pop, that's got to be good value in anyone's money!

Top of the table and two weeks off. Lovely start tae the season and Montrose up next - there's even a rumour goin' about that the Commander will make the trip tae Links Park. If you believe that you'll believe that Paul Lunan is kind to animals......

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