Could Be A Long, Hard season...

25th Jul 2009: East Fife 0, Forfar Athletic 2 (ALBA Challenge Cup)

First serious outing of the season and... naw, this particular caller wasnae at the game. Ma boy spent the day with his gran and grandpa, ah had lunch wi' Mrs FC (nice curry, even nicer Cobra beer) and midway through ma chicken tikka she hit me wi' this guilt trip. "With you working all week (in Edinburgh), the only time you really get to see Callum is at the weekend. Ah can't believe you'd rather be at the football...".

She left it hangin' there like a limp hangin' thing that might just have the strength in it tae destroy a marriage, continued munching on a popadom and left me resigned to ma fate. Despite the fact that Callum was nowhere near ma hoose the day, after lunch we headed home an' ah was able to spend the afternoon bonding with his aura in our living room. Well, wi' me workin' in Edinburgh, the only time ah really get tae see Callum is at the weekend... Ah'm still trying to work out who she was cruellest to - me or ma boy... Family ties; ye cannae whack em!

It was a different story this afternoon, however, for ex-Fifer, Kevin Fotheringham. It was always going to be a proud moment for him to run out in the colours of the Witch Burners XI (well, proud might no' be the word...) but today there was an added bonus. Now in the third decade of his career, it was with immense pride that Fozzie trotted out at the start of the game accompanied by his grandson, Martin, who was also turning out for the Loons. The two played key roles in the goals that thwarted the Fife, proving indeed that when it comes to family ties, you just cannae whack em!

But before the Clan MacFotheringham turned on the style, it was inevitable that another Fife old boy would be doing his best tae upset his old employers. Ah always rated Sanny Templeman so was just a little concerned that the big man might, once again, turn it on at Bayview. The fact that he failed tae find the net this afternoon says more for our good fortune that it does about big Temps' play. Within twenty minutes it was apparent to everyone (even those of us relegated tae sniffing changing mats at home) that he'd be turning in the man of the match performance. Alas, Chris, you know the rules so unless you had a black and gold shirt on under the blue one, there'll be nae more plaudits for you...

After just ten minutes he was right in the thick of things, looking sharp in possession and sliding through a neat wee pass that his team-mate, Mad Dog Dave Mowett, will feel he should have buried. By this time, we'd hardly had a touch of the ball but finally the nerves settled a bit and our youngsters started to relax.

Aaron Conway, in particular, seemed to have a point to prove and was quickly getting stuck in. As it was, however, our first real attempt on goal came from two lads slightly longer in the tooth; Shagger and Scott Thomson did their best to combine and fire a ball goalwards. Sadly, the scoresheet remained goalless.

However, just ten minutes from the interval all that was to change. We'd been knocking the ball about reasonably well (no' really doin' much wi' it, granted, but at least stoppin' the Loons havin' it all their own way) but gave the ball away in the middle of the park and could only watch on as that speed machine, Kev Fotheringham, marched forward into Fife territory and slid through a perfectly weighted pass into the box.

Keeper Brown looked decidedly undecided and eventually stood rooted to the spot while Fozzie's grandson casually picked up the ball, shimmied past him and nonchalantly side footed it into an empty net. Now, ah'm no' one tae second guess the gaffer but the question surely has to be asked - when we've got two full-time, fully trained goalkeepers at the club, how come Mikey still gets the number one shirt? Or am ah just being unfair?

Well, maybe but no' nearly as unfair as the cheat was just five minutes later. We'd managed tae lift our shoulders and were pushing forward to even things up before the interval. Mark Staunton picked up a neat pass at the edge of the Loons box, took two steps forward and was unceremoniously dumped on his arse by the maladroit Mister Broon (no' another one!!!). The Forfar keeper had come off his line like an Exocet, locked on target and... kaboom!

A penalty surely but first the job of delivering a crimson piece of plastic up the keeper's nose. Well, mebbe no'. The cheat reached for yellow (or "rumena" as they say in Belgrade), picked up the ball and walked back out of the box before awarding us a free kick. Of course it was, ref. The ignominy was complete when, inevitably, the Craw blasted his kick wide while the Loons' goalie smirked like a spoiled bairn at his stand side post. Shite!

With the sun continuing to shine down, things looked far more promising at the start of the second half. Our visitors appeared content to rest on their one goal lead and sat back trying to soak up the Fife pressure. Someone needs to remind Dick Campbell, however, that at this level, that's a dangerous game.

Just a few minutes in we had a wonderful opportunity to level the scores when their keeper made a pig's arse of Aaron Conway's well timed cross and fumbled the ball at the near post. With the net gaping, however, neither Shagger nor young Staunton were quite able to get a toe to it to poke it home and the danger was cleared.

Buoyed by the chance, we kept pressing and had what was probably our best spell of the game. David Muir made an appearance on the hour mark, replacing Johnny MacRae who's had a decent run out and acquitted himself reasonably well. And it was the Div who'll feel that he should have done better when the chance presented itself - with twenty minutes left the ball fell nicely for him but, unmarked, he still contrived to slice the ball well wide when it looked easier to hit the target.

Our lack of a cutting edge up front was to prove to be our downfall. With time running out our attempts on the Forfar goal became fewer and further between. To heap insult onto injury, the Loons then went up the park and doubled their lead. Their forays into Fife territory had been far fewer in the second period but they still looked like a decent force when they moved forward fifteen minutes from time and won a corner. Returning the favour to his grandpa, Fozzie Jnr whipped over a flukey cross and the East Fife defence stood motionless as the old boy climbed up on his orange box, steadied himself, let the ball skelp aff his knapper and in it went. If you're a Loons' fan, the cross was a cracker, the run and jump were perfectly timed and the header was bulleted past a despairing attempt to clear the ball by Darren Thomson. The truth was that no matter what it looked like, it was the final nail in the black and gold Alba Cup coffin for this season.

The two teams rattled about the park for another ten minutes and then the cheat finally brought it all to an end. Tryin' tae put a positive spin on it... well, it was good to see that Fozzie and Temps have fair settled intae their new surroundings. And... em, well at least we'll no' have the distraction of the Alba Cup tae worry about over the next few weeks (noo that we're oot it, it's no' worth the winning). And... em, well the weather was nice and at seven o'clock ah got ma wee boy back fae his gran...

Mrs FC has kindly agreed to a four hour pass next week so ah'll be back again for the Linos in the League Cup. It's far too early to start panicing so let's get behind the boys again and gie that shower the right royal doin' that they deserve. That would blow away today's disappointments completely!

C'mon the Fife!