Sets Us Up Nicely For saturday... Not!

21st Jul 2009: East Fife 1, Dunfermline Athletic 7 (Pre-season Friendly)

Ma beer-buddy Colin is Pars mad so you can imagine the solace he's sought in Dunfermline's boozers over the last three or four years. He was at East End last Saturday when Hibs came tae visit for a wee pre-season outing. Four nil to the Hibees and, as far as Colin was concerned, that flattered the Pars.

As a result of that performance and the fact that it was pishin' wi' rain when we left work on Tuesday, Mr Maguire casually informed me that he'd no' be going to Bayview - "we're shite, the weather's shite and the Number 7 bus takes three days tae get there", he opined in the depressed manner that he reserves for when he's talkin' about his beloved Dunfermline Athletic.

Tuesday night meant ironing duty for yours truly so there was no way on the planet that ah'd be darkenin' that particular doorstep down Harbour View way. Ah've a feeling that, with hindsight, ma ironing didn't look such a painful option after all. The alternative was watchin' my heroes take a doin' of cataclysmic proportions on a miserable Tuesday night that felt more like November than July. Glad ah missed it...

But there was to be no such relief from the pain for the three hundred hardy souls who made their faithful way to Methil. Speakin' to one of the guys after the game, he mentioned that he'd been right up for it and looking forward to upsetting another Fife team. By the looks of the starting line-ups, the teams looked evenly matched so there was everything to play for.

"Ian, you should have been there. We looked composed, confident and fit. Ah thought we started off really well and looked great... for the first thirty five seconds!"

In the Pars' first intrusion into Fife territory, big Smarty and John Ovenstone somehow contrived to make an arse of a simple clearance and the ball spun into the path of Graham Bayne. The Pars skipper was more than happy to accept the gift and took just one wee touch before slotting the ball low to Mickey Brown's left. Five thousand Pars fans were still milling in through the turnstiles (ah'm surprised they didnae delay the kick-off) but for the three dozen already in the stadium, it was the start of a perfect evening. They weren't gonna stop celebrating all night.

The keeper had had no chance with the opener but kept the team in it when he pulled off a crackin' save just past the quarter hour mark, staying big and deflecting a point blank effort when the rest of the defence was posted missing. Sadly, the big keeper's luck didn't last and just a couple of minutes later the Pars doubled their lead. For the neutral it would have looked like a belter - for the Fife fans it was an utter scunner; a powerful shot from the edge of the box that whistled into the top right hand corner. Two-nil down and we'd barely had a kick of the ball...

Midway through the half things went from bad to worse. Dunfermline ripped us open in a great move down the left and bore down on goal. Brown did well to save the first shot but could only parry the ball into the path of Bayne who popped it away with aplomb and claimed his second of the night. With his team rampant, the only surprise was that it took until just before the interval for the big centre forward to grab his hat trick - again showing his prowess as a poacher and sliding it home from inside the six yard box.

We trudged off moments later completely disconsolate, darkness already enveloping the team. We'd hardly been in it at all and anything we could muster in the second half would surely now just be fire fighting.

But fair play to the gaffer; whatever he said to his shell-shocked troops at half time appeared to have the desired effect - it took a full twenty minutes for the Pars to score another goal! In the meantime, we had what was probably our best period of the match, finally able to string a few passes together even though we never came anywhere close to really threatening our visitors. Crawford himself had come on for the second half and his maturity certainly seemed to calm a few of the younger players down a bit.

Even so, it was proving to be a testing night for all the boys. In the sixty sixth minute the Pars upped the pace a little and caught the black and gold defence off balance once again. Their left winger (well, one of them - apparently McIntyre's signed about six in the close season; sadly, nae big centre forwards for them tae ping crosses into) cut inside and fired a speculative cross-cum-shot into the box. There appeared little danger but the unfortunate Jonny Smart got his nut to it and, somehow, the ball ended up in the net. It was that kind of night...

There was to be some respite just five minutes later. In a rare attack, Shagger found himself in the Pars' box. Not yet fully match fit, he contrived tae fall over his own feet but the cheat was kind enough to see it as a vicious, career threatening tackle by their young full back, Greg Ross. He pointed to the spot and when McManus eventually hauled himself back to his feet, the number nine had sufficient strength to take the kick himself. He put it away well but by this stage it was hardly worth getting excited about.

And if we thought it would stem the goal-fest at the other end, we were mistaken. Ten minutes from time, Paul Willis added a sixth; another simple tap-in from close range with the Fife defence in a different postcode area. And just seconds from the end, the Official Dunfermline Site's match report had its 'Magnificent Seven' headline when Steven 'Dinger' Bell got onto the end of a mis-hit shot and buried it with some ease. Their sorry wee bunch of fans would have headed off home happy, last Saturday's disappointments completely forgotten.

It's an ALBA Cup trip to Dumbarton next for them (ah think) but more immediately, we've got our own ALBA preparations to finalise. It all gets serious on Saturday when we welcome the Loons, resplendent with ex-Fifers Sanny 'the beanpole' Templeman and Kevin 'where's the pies' Fotheringham (hey, like ah said, they're ex-Fifers - and in any case, they know ah'm only kiddin'). Pre-season's gone not too badly but tonight's result (or, more importantly, performance) will have left a bitter taste. It's up tae the Craw tae get the boys up for Saturday - pre-season's over; now it's for real. For the fans, let's get behind the boys and hope that, for fuck sake, the weather's a bit more like it should be in July. Ah'm goin' for three - nil Fife and seventeen degrees in the shade.

C'mon the Fife!