Aye, It was a Fuckin' Rasper!

8th Aug 2009: East Fife 2, Brechin City 0 (Barrs Scottish League Division Two)

Five minutes after Thomson's deciding goal today a couple of Duffy's Drones were pretending to be warming up along the bye line but really just generally getting' in the way of me taking ma photies. One leans against the post and says, "Haw Craigie, did ye see it...?"

"Naw...", the reply hangin' there far longer than three letters and three dots should.

"Aye, it was a fuckin' rasper! Whit side did Nipper beat you on...?"

Before Nelson could run over and kick his arse, the young subbie was scampering back to the dugout, no doubt relieved that he at least wouldnae have tae face the wrath of his gaffer at half time. After the Fife goals went in, the Hedge Men simply fell tae bits, Jim Duffy reduced tae screaming abuse fae the sideline, his choice of vocabulary guaranteeing NO further invites tae Sportscene.

We'd been promised a sunny afternoon for the start of the league campaign. As it was, the clouds had gathered a bit by the time the teams ran out for the kick-off. The quality of the play from both sets of players, however, soon brightened up the afternoon. In the early stages it was end to end stuff with title favourites, City, out to impose their will as quickly as possible.

They'd failed to prepare for the quality of the East Fife midfield, mind, and very soon Shaun Fagan, Lloyd Young and Div Muir were bossing it in the middle of the park. The three fought it out for the whole game to win the man of the match plaudits - in the end, Shaun just about edged it. Right from the off, the three combined and controlled the game. As early as the first minute it looked like they might have created an opening; Lloydie frustrated to see the wrinkly auld City keeper, Craig Nelson, punch his effort clear.

It was a shame that barely 600 folk had turned up for the league opener as this already had the look of a cracker. We'd settled down quickly, looked comfortable with the formation that the Craw had selected (interesting that he'd decided that he'd be watching from the sidelines in the early stages...) and were fearless against Jim Duffy's charges.

We didn't have it all our own way, mind, and soon the Hedge Men were giving as good as they got. The opening twenty minutes probably saw the best of the chances for our visitors who soon recovered from our opening onslaught and started knocking the ball around with some confidence. On the ten minute mark Micky Broon had to be on his toes to pull off the first of a number of excellent saves. The big keeper's been criticised by some fans in recent weeks but this afternoon proved that he's got what it takes when it comes to shot stopping.

Both teams continued to play hard but fair, both looking comfortable on the ball if unable to create an awful lot in front of goal. All that changed, however, with twenty five minutes on the clock. Depending on who you listen to, Div Muir's effort was from anywhere between 30 yards oot and somewhere doon on the beach. Whatever the distance, it took the Brechin keeper completely by surprise, leaving him rooted to the spot and gratefully relieved to hear the thwack of the ball rattling back off the cross bar. It was a stunning strike and worth far more than the fuck-all that Div got for it.

We weren't to be downhearted by that miss, though, and kept on pressing. Just moments later we had the City defence right under the cosh again, pushing forward from midfield with some ease. Rob Campbell (a surprising inclusion in the side but a great performance nonetheless) sidestepped his marker and swept over a great cross into the heart of the box. Shagger's first effort appeared to have been smothered by Nelson but the geriatric goalie spilled the ball (when he fell hard on that dodgy hip of his...) and McManus made no mistake in hooking the ball past the prostrate keeper and into the net.

With the cheers of the fans still ringing in their ears, the boys swarmed forward, smelling blood. Almost immediately we came close to adding a second when Lloyd Young's goal bound effort was cleared off the line by a despairing lunge by the Brechin full back. The ball was hoofed up the park but fell to the feet of Shaun Fagan who took just half a second to spot the opportunity to launch a wonderful pass back into the danger zone.

City's efforts to stream out and catch us offside were feeble and left Nipper free on the left of their box. Fagan's forty yard pass was met by the auld man (er... seasoned campaigner) perfectly and before Nelson could even contemplate what was coming, he had lashed a strong left foot volley past him and into the goal. To say it was a cracker of a goal would be the understatement of the century. It was, as the Emperor of Austria would say, the best goal yet scored. If your back will cope with it, auld yin, take a bow - that was fuckin' sensational!

So, barely half an hour on the clock, two crackin' goals to savour and the fans euphoric in the stand. I guess all that pre-season nonsense was just the Craw's way of lulling the other teams into a false sense of security. Yeah, ok, ah know it's early days but that second goal going in got us all excited - ah'm sure it's just no' me that was getting all caught up in the emotion.

Not even Kevin Byers' effort that clipped Brown's crossbar five minutes later was enough to temper our enthusiasm. That effort was as much as the visitors could muster in the remaining time before the break. Their heads were down, their shaped was lost and already they looked like a team well beaten. From the sidelines, of course, Duffy continued to scream his malignant support, oblivious to the fact that his reproachful sneers would do little to lift his team. But then, players are motivated by all sorts of things; who am I to deride him for his derision of the team?

Well, maybe I am qualified to comment. By the looks of his team's second half display, his halftime team-talk was about as inspirational as a slap in the puss with a damp copy of last week's Fife Free Press. Granted, the Hedge Men went through the motions but, if truth be known, there was never gonna be any way back into this one.

That didn't stop the home support being just a little circumspect in the opening minutes of the second period, however - memories of last Saturday's second half mauling at the hands of the filth were still fresh enough in our minds. But, as it turned out, we had nothing to worry about.

We continued to play well with Shaun Fagan in particular positively lording it in the middle of the park. And fortunately, the ref was far less fussy than last week so the strapping big lad felt no compulsion tae whup his boaby oot the day! (Aye, an' while ah'm on the subject, how come big Liam censors everything ah write for the programme but reckons it's ok tae have a photo of a big hairy arsed fitba player inside the back page????)

It took ten minutes for City to create any kind of space; Kevin Byers again carving out enough room to slip past his marker and bear down on the keeper. Once again, though, Broonie was up to the task and pulled off a great save. Quickly spotting an opportunity, the keeper released the ball immediately and we headed forward in a sweeping counter attack.

McManus timed his run to perfection and looked nailed on to score his second of the day but, in a staggering feat of timing and agility, Craig Nelson came out to narrow the angle and, stupefied at the pace of the OAP, Shagger was forced into a quick toe-poke and could only watch on as the ball ended up hitting the side netting.

Undeterred, we continued to press. The Hedge Men were struggling up front so Paul Nugent was free to push forward and support the midfield. Together, he and Div Muir persistently caused problems down the flank and with Rob Campbell still enjoying plenty of space on the left wing, it seemed only a matter of time before we'd add to the scoring.

A combination of decent goalkeeping (he might be old but if you put him in the right position...), the woodwork, good fortune and desperate, last gasp defending kept the score respectable. If we'd taken all our chances it could have been a cricket score. Alas, Div, Lloydie, the Nugget and Shaun will have to wait for another day to open their accounts for the season. But Shagger and will feel that he should already have chalked up more than just the one ...

With the points won, the Craw gave a couple of the youngsters a run out, Staunton replacing Shagger fifteen minutes from time and Jordyn Sheerin making his seasonal debut on eighty minutes when Linn trotted off for a wee rest. Both settled in fine and will feel aggrieved not to have added to the lead. Sheerin in particular had two great chances in the dying minutes but once more we were thwarted by the aged Craig Nelson (who didnae do too bad for an auld codger).

Crawford made one more wise decision before the end when he came on himself (naw, that's no' the wisdom) and allowed Shaun Fagan to milk the applause that rained down from the stand. The big midfielder's temperament seems to have really mellowed since being entrusted with the vice-captain's role and today's performance was just one more to be proud of. He took his seat in the dugout just moments before the cheat brought the game to a close - fittingly with the Fife trying to force another attack.

The Reds trudged off looking thoroughly dejected while our black and gold heroes accepted the plaudits from the crowd. It had been a thoroughly professional display with performances all over the park worthy of note. An excellent start to the season and three well earned and deserved points already banked in what looks like being a keenly contested title race. There's a long way still to go but if the boys can churn our performances like that over the coming months we'll certainly win more than we lose.

So, next up Stenhousemuir who settled into second division life with a wee away draw today. It's back to their plastic pitch next Saturday - a reasonably happy hunting ground in recent times. A repeat of our last result there will do just fine and dandy - just so long as the weather's no' a fuckin' dreich as it was in January!!

C'mon the Fife!