Shitey Game, And Nothing More...

4th Oct 2008: East Fife 1, Stranraer 2 (Barrs Scottish League Division Two)

Last week we were world class; the week before we were in a different league; last season we had this mob on the mantlepiece. We all know the way fitba works so why were we surprised when it all went tits up and the Blues came to town and humped us? After all, they've no' trained properly for two months, they don't get paid and their club looks like folding any minute... all they've got is self belief and team spirit so... there could be only one result!

The storm clouds were already gathering as the game started, torrential rain just around the corner. Atop the main stand, a solitary, evil looking raven perched, its malevolent visage an expression of the foreboding that was already hanging over us... Edgar Allan Poe eat yer heart out...

Ah once read one of his short stories - 'The Pit and the Pudendum' - but it was only when ah got tae the last page that ah realised that ah'd misread the title. Poe himself was a fanny, mind. When he wasnae talking tae budgies, he was predictin' the collapse of big hooses in Edinburgh or guzzling copious amounts of sherry. He may well have been completely insane but, by the end of today's game, I was pretty much there with him - ah was sick, sick unto death with that long agony!!!

Which all started just past three o'clock. With Stranraer's whole world in turmoil right now, we'd have been rather naive tae expect anything less than Ferguson's men playing their hearts out for the full ninety minutes. Well, that seemed obvious enough tae me; sadly, the guys on the pitch appeared rather surprised when the Blues came out of the traps and got stuck right in. Where were the silky skills from last weekend; where was the confidence with which we'd knocked the ball around; where was the swagger in the step? We'll never know cos before our heroes had even had time tae get started, we were already under the cosh.

Stranraer, however, weren't able to fully capitalise on their dominance in the early stages. With the wind gusting around, drizzle in the air and darkness falling before the game was ten minutes old, they were in control in the middle of the park but were finding it tougher combatting the elements and breaking through the Fife defence. However, with the Blues in the ascendency in the midfield, we were reduced to simply hoofing high balls forward. When the team leet was read out pre-match, four forwards were amongst DB's choices. Sadly, Crawford was planked into the midfield and the Boaby picked up the left winger role (??), leaving Shagger and the Wonderhorse in attack. Still looked a decent enough set-up tae get the job done but...

It was impossible to impose any authority and so, time and time again, we banged long balls forward. Sadly, time and time again, Temps and Shagger did their best but the Blues' defence had little trouble in clearing any danger. The temperatures dropped, time slowed down (something to do with Einsteinian mechanics, I think) and the game descended into a tedious to-and-fro that kept the three dozen Stranraer fans happy enough but just sent the home fans to sleep.

We were jolted violently back to life on the half hour mark when the visitors took the lead. They'd still not been creating that much in front of McCulloch so we did the honours and gifted them the goal. It was horrible enough to watch as big Tweedie's effort to head back to the keeper fell short. Even then, Stranraer did their best to screw up. Kevin Nicoll looked nailed on to score but fluffed his attempt, the ball trundling straight to Wullie... who then compounded the whole shitfest by letting it dribble between his legs and into the goal. Talk about a comedy of errors... It would have been laughable if it hadn't been so tragic.

Nae fucker was laughin' ten minutes later, mind (well, except the ratbags fae Galloway). We'd failed to change anything after the opener so, unsurprisingly, had created hee-haw at the other end. Stranraer, in contrast, had taken plenty from the goal and had indeed upped their work rate. They now really believed that they were good enough to get something from this game. Even in their wildest dreams, however, I doubt if many of them thought they'd put the lid on it by scoring the screamer that they did.

Gregory Tade picked up the ball out on the left and headed goalwards, skillfully sidestepping two defenders before releasing the ball to Steve McConalogue. The forward made a yard of space for himself and, from twenty five yards out, blasted a sweet shot high into the top right corner of McCulloch's net. If it had been at the other end, ahd've been ravin' about it for weeks so.... Sometimes you just have to take a step back and acknowledge perfection. It was a fuckin' blinder of a goal and, on the balance of play, nothin' less than they deserved.

But at least the goal fired Fife intae life. We hardly looked like title favourites but at least now we started knockin' a few passes together. And shortly before the interval we finally made the breakthrough. McManus appeared to have lost any chance when he was forced towards the far corner but, from somewhere, he managed to make room for himself to fire over a cross into the six yard box. Although the Wonderhorse was under pressure from three Stranraer defenders, he rose and looped a great header into the Blues' goal, leaving their keeper rooted to the spot. Certainly against the run of play but, as the rain lashed down out of sombre, dark clouds, we were brightened going in at the break just the one goal down.

Ferguson's half time talk must have been along the lines of, "Calm doon, guys, calm doon. Wull mubby win this if wur no' careful". They came out determined to just sit behind the ball and soak up the pressure. Thankfully, from our point of view, the Fife looked a shit load more singleminded than they had in the first forty five. I'd no' go as far as saying that they'd been complacent in the first half but at least now the boys were concentrating on breaking down a decent team and they recognised that that would take more than high aimless balls up the park.

As a result of some neat, passing football, it took less than five minutes to create our first chance. Bobby Linn's cross was met perfectly by Shagger (again showing a rare talent of beating defenders who're six inches taller than him) and his headed effort had the keeper well beaten; we were frustrated half a second later when the ball rattled off the cross bar and back into play. It was a bummer but, at last, we had some reason to make some noise.

The fans were also cheered moments later when Paul Stewart made a welcome return to the team, replacing young Nugent who'd been struggling throughout against some robust attacking play by Tade (give the man his due, if he concentrated on just playing football instead of rabble rousing, the Frenchman could be decent player. He was controlling the game until he lost the rag and his discipline....). Stewart fitted into the right back position but was far more inclined to come forward and, with the Blues sitting back, he had plenty of opportunities to do so. Dene Shields, who'd been ploughing a lonely furrow until then, finally had someone to combine with and very soon they were creating lots of space out on the right.

On the other side of the park, Linn and Crawford were doing their best to create something. The Fozzmeister had moved forward and was also spending more time in the Stranraer half than in our territory. For all our possession, however, we were still finding clear goal scoring chances tough to find. With about twenty minutes remaining it looked like Shields had managed to shake off his marker and he headed into the Stranraer box, only to run straight into McManus and watch the ball bobble harmlessly into the keeper's gloves.

We kept working hard but, with Stranraer well organised at the back, were to be frustrated again and again as all our efforts were mopped up at the edge of their box. McManus moved back looking for a little more room and, with time running out, appeared to have found the space he needed. He headed out right, easily befuddling the left back but hadn't counted on Tade catching him. The big forward went through him, looking to make a statement to the mass of Fife fans just yards away. Shagger just about managed to evade the tackle without getting too much of a kickin' and was up and in Tade's face immediately. Thankfully, before he could react further, the ref (up with play for a change) was over and Greg picked up his second yellow card of the afternoon.

From where I was standin' (and it wasn't a bad angle - see the photo below), it looked like it could have been a straight red but, either way, he was on his way to an early bath. Well, not that early... So 'in control' had the officials been throughout that the Stranraer team (to a man) had no hesitation in getting into the rammy in the corner. It eventually calmed down and the big number nine made his moody way to the tunnel, taking the time to eyeball a few of the weans in the front row of the stand (surly rascal that he is...).

Even with injury time, we had less than ten minutes to make our man advantage count. As it was, we did all the stuff the fans would expect us to do but failed to make any real dent in the Stranraer rearguard. The cheat blew the final whistle and put us out of our misery. Another three points dropped at home and the ignominy of seeing Stranraer celebrating a rare victory against us. It was a real fucker but hardly undeserved. They played better than us in the first forty five and defended better than we attacked in the second. Fuck, it happens - as usual, the team put in the effort and, on the day, were found wanting. We just need to put it down to experience and get right behind the team again in a fortnight.

In any case, you never know how things might turn out. Ah'm guessin' that unless every team has played them home and away, if they go out of business, surely they'll just void all the results of their games this season. By my reckoning, their eighteenth game of the season is scheduled to be against us at their place on 20th December. Now, ah don't want them tae go bust but if they do, let's hope it's before then...

Or is that just bein' rotten?