Anyone Fancy A McCurry?

16th Aug 2008: East Fife 1, Queen's Park 2 (Barrs Scottish League Division Two)

In a most hotly anticipated arrival at Bayview, Mike McCurry made his long delayed return to the referee's room this afternoon. And with a fitting sense of sublime irony, he led the teams out at three o'clock clad in the scarlet kit that the SFL appear to be touting as their preferred whistlers' standard for this season. The shade of deep, blood red was the exact shade of McCurry's puss the last time ah saw him on the box (or was it the CCTV coverage from somewhere on the south side..?).

As usual, his performance was hardly worthy of any medals but, accordin' tae that wee burd in the papers in May, he's pretty much the same off the park too. By her account, he's only good enough to get a Cross Victoria, rather than the other way round... Anyway, that's what ah heard...

Sadly, however, today's result had absolutely hee-haw tae do with how good, bad or indifferent the referee was. Defensive frailties once again let down an otherwise determined and hard working Fife team. There might also have been a hint of off-side in both the goals but it's hardly Mike's fault that the nearside linescheat got it wrong both times - mebbe he was thinking about potential shenanigans in the sea end car park after the game... Or mebbe not.

As we kicked off in bright sunlight, however, we had no concerns about what Queens might throw at us or what the officials get up to in their off duty hours (hey, it's a free(ish) country...). As it happened, we went straight up the park and almost opened the scoring within the first sixty seconds, the Queens' keeper relieved to see the ball slide just past the post.

It was a crackin' start to the game and really got the fans roused. Their excitement spilled onto the park and was a real gee-up for the team. They'd settled immediately and were already lookin' like they'd clean up. Queen's Park appeared shell-shocked and could do nothing to stop us pushing forward in wave after wave of pressure. On four minutes we really should have taken the lead when the Wonderhorse rose and directed a header goalwards - only to see the goalie make a meal of it but finally secure the ball.

It was all lookin' fine; sure we'd missed a couple of early chances but we were bombing up the pitch at will and, so far, our visitors had looked nothing more than a gang of weans who were gettin' out of the big city for the first time. That lasted about another five minutes - the wee bastards had obviously just been lulling us into a false sense of security. The first time they managed tae get intae our half of the pitch... they scored.

The move started with a quick counter-attacking pass forward by Anthony Quinn (d'you reckon they call him Zorba in the dressing room?). Five seconds and ten paces later the ball was fired across field, missed by everyone in a black and gold shirt and trundled into the net by an unmarked Ross Dunlop at the far post. It was an absolute fuckin' howler of a goal to concede - they'd not had a look in and now, with their first advance into our territory, they'd well and truly fucked us. Every one of the Fife defence hung their heads... fuckin' disaster.

But one positive aspect of our dodgy start to this term must surely be the fact that, despite our early setbacks (and there have been a few....), the guys on the park always have the mental fortitude tae shake themselves down and get 'back on the bike'. Today was no different - we'd fucked up, there was not much we could do about that, but what we could do is go right back up the pitch and pressurise the Queens' keeper. Within three minutes we'd equalised. Dougie Cameron banged over a great corner kick, Templeman rose high above everyone else (well, he was actually on his way back doon when he connected wi the ball but... who cares?) and headed home with ease, the keeper this time getting nowhere near it.

Which surely should have meant that we'd fight on and convert our possession and domination to more goals. We created plenty of space and passed the ball around with some ease but, in spite of some great runs by Crawford and Templemen, were continually frustrated in front of goal. Whether our failures in front of the net had any real impact, I don't know but on the half hour mark all twenty outfield players appeared to lapse into a kind of rubbish that you normally only see when the under-twelves are playing on a Sunday morning. Frenzied it certainly was but no' the kind of football we've become used to at Bayview.

But there was enough bedlam out there to create sufficient indecision in the Fife defence to allow Queen's Park one further chance before the interval. In the fortieth minute they made possibly only their second real incursion into our half but it was all they needed. Young Nugent made a pig's arse of an attempt to clear but was easily beaten and the through ball left (the offside) Coakley (great name...) in bags of room. How he then managed to somehow take the ball round McCulloch and gently slide his effort home from twenty yards is one of those things that will, no doubt, have to remain an enigma. How we could be going in behind at half time is something equally mysterious...

We came back out well pumped up (calm down, Mr McCurry...) and looking a whole lot more organised. Whatever the fans may think of Dave Baikie's tactical awareness, he still appears to be able to get the guys going; within just a couple of minutes of the restart we were already back threatening at the right end of the park. Crawford, Temps and Bobby Linn all have decent efforts in the opening minutes and it seemed that it would be only a matter of time before we'd be on level terms again.

Bobby Linn in particular was back to his normal outstanding self and was causing all sorts of bother for the young Spiders’ left back. Linn was combining well with Nugent (who was still struggling but slowly getting his shit back together), always happy to move back into midfield to pick up the ball before forthrightly heading forward again.

We were enjoying so much possession high up the park that, at times, we were neglecting our defensive duties (story of the season so far...). Just before the hour mark we were nearly made to pay when Coakley managed to get close enough for a shot. His twenty yard bullet had McCulloch well beaten but, fortunately, the ball crash off the crossbar and ended up in the car park (there’s no truth in the rumour that the ref wanted to go and retrieve it...).

Fortunately, the next time that Willie had to worry was late on when the easily saved a well hit free kick from just outside the box. Between times it was as you were at the other end. Shagger got a shout with about twenty five minutes remaining and young O'Reilly made an appearance shortly thereafter, replacing Paul Stewart (who'll feel somewhat bemused at the decision - he'd been playing well...). Their appearance injected some much needed fresh blood into the equation and, now playing with three forwards, we upped the efforts on the Spiders' goal.

Chris Templeman and Dougie Cameron both came close but were frustrated when their efforts slid just past. Those shots that were on target weren't cleared with any great expertise but between the full backs and the keeper, they ensured that the ball stayed out. The Queens' fans had been vocal throughout the first half but remained quiet for most of the second forty five, no doubt relieved every time that the ball was bundled away from the goal line.

With time running out, we pushed everything forward and continued to bombard them right until the bitter end. Sadly however, McCurry brought proceedings to an end and a further league match had slipped past without us getting our dues. The Queens' players looked and sounded like they'd just knocked Man U out of the Champions League which, I suppose indicated just how relieved (jammy??) they felt picking up all three points.

As usual there were a few arseholes in the stand who booed the players off the park but more encouraging for me was the fact that most of the fans had stayed to show their appreciation for the effort and commitment that the players are consistently putting in. Nae doubt every member of the team will be asking themselves the same question that we all are.... how the fuck did we manage to lose that game???

Ah well... onwards to Arbroath. See you all on Saturday for our next 'must win' game. Don't panic, we've still got a great team!