Ah'll get tae the quality of the fitba, the classy finishing and the utter humiliation of the Lino Likkers later. That was all fuckin' magic - but for me, the most entertaining part of the whole night (apart fae wee Marc Cameron skimming seven quid aff his dad's change fae the pie run) was the spectacle of watchin' the Fozzmeister (man in his thirties, married wi weans, mortgage tae maintain, grown up responsibilities etc, etc) losin' the rag an' throwin' his toys oot the pram coz Shagger wouldnae let him take the penalty.

Fuckin' hysterical - and worth the six quid ticket price in itself! We'd already been cruisin', taking a two goal lead within fifteen minutes of the restart but, as the Likkers team descended into tired disarray, pushed forward to really stick the knife in. McManus hoodwinked their ineffectual left back and fired a low cross into the box, only to see young Nugent clumsily bundled over by the Likkers' overzealous centre half - whit an ugly big fucker he was by the way... A giant with his head above the clouds, his shoulder blades four feet apart and the quick-fire reactions of an old aged mongoose (with the looks tae match). The stand side linesman waved for a throw in but, fortunately, the cheat was up with play and pointed immediately to the spot.

McManus grabbed the ball and headed into the box. But none of us had bargained for big, bad Fozzie, lumbering up the centre of the park towards the Wraith goal, concentration written on his face, a man possessed - ah'm gonnae bury this! And then the arse fell oot his world when Shagger telt him tae fuck off - ah'm takin' it. Fozzie's face looked like his wife had told him she was leaving him the very day that the bank had informed him his mortgage application had been turned down. And he dealt with the situation in the way only Fife guys can - he had a melt doon, right there in the middle of the park. Priceless...

There was silence in the stadium as Shagger ran up to take the kick. We all held our breaths and as he reached the ball... "Yer missin' it!!" rang oot fae somewhere. As it was, he didn't - the keeper went the wrong way and Shagger buried it in the corner. His team mates ran to congratulate him but, honourably, no' Fozzie who was already concentrating on keeping it tight at the back - professional to the end and pure entertainment for the fans in the stand. Even the three dozen Likkers' fans had a good laugh...

Although they had sod all else to amuse them all evening. Outnumbered ten to one by the four hundred odd Fife fans (were you there? Exactly - so how do you know there wurnae four hunner?) it was hardly surprising that we heard hee-haw from the tatty bunch of twats. As their team took the field there was some scattered applause but, thereafter, there wasn't a peep to be heard.

To be fair, mind, there wasnae an awful lot for us to get excited about in the first half either. Neither side had fielded what they'd consider to be their first eleven but there was an opportunity for a number of the fringe players to stake a claim for the remaining fixtures this season. Jordyn Sheerin and Guy Kerr both started, joined by another promising youngster, Jason Dair who was to cap his night oot in Kirkcaldy by grabbing the second goal.

Facing us was a ragbag of ne'er-do-wells, degenerates, and debauched lookin' miscreants that sullied even a Lino Likkers shirt (hard as that may be to believe). If that's the future of Wraith then it's a future that will need extra batteries to brighten it up.

Having said that, however, we made somewhat heavy work of breaking them down. Shagger snuck in behind their full back as early as the fourth minute but then skewed his effort over. Our next opportunity came from a free kick midway through the half but, again, the chance was wasted when Lloydie fired a shot straight at the Likkers' wall and the ball was cleared.

Both teams continued to work hard but, in reality, the remainder of the first half of this long delayed Fife Cup adventure turned into a bit of a damp squib. It was a pleasant enough evening, mind, clear and cold and as darkness fell, a full moon rose ceremoniously to our left – the only blot on an otherwise majestic outlook, of course, was the sight of the cardboard slums of the shanty town that is Pratt Street, KY1.

We upped the ante a bit in the closing moments of the first half and, while the Wraiths were looking forward to a Capri Sun and a read at their Beanos at the interval, pushed forward into their box. Shagger was planked on his arse by the big number five (a jovial hulk of a young farmer fae somewhere near Auchtertool) but the cheat was blethering to Lee Makel at the time so missed everything. By the time McManus had dragged himself back to his feet, the whistle had already sounded and we aw headed for the ginger and crisps.

And if the prospect of scoffing Walkers plain crisps in the company of Colin Cameron wasn't electrifying enough, we had even more frenzy in store for the half time entertainment. Mike Brown, Bebo and young Cargill emerged for a kick about, launching balls high, wide and handsome (literally to all corners of the stand…) to keep the Fife fans on their toes – dodging the 'bullets' certainly kept us warm, anyway!

And then, even as the Linos had started to issue forth from the tunnel, Master Cargill decided to go for broke and REALLY impress the fans. Bebo and Broonie were already on their way back to the dugout, leaving an empty goal, the ball on the spot and the young striker contemplating... He took two steps forward and blasted the ball, missing the net by certainly no more than fifteen yards and nearly taking the head off a wee guy who must've thought he have been safe sitting out at the corner flag! Let's hope tae fuck that this one doesnae go tae penalties!

Ah guess that the rest of his team mates must have seen the young man's effort cos they started the second half with a renewed purpose, pressing forward with far more determination than we'd displayed in the first half. Shagger had the Wraith full back in his pocket and looked right in the mood, making a number of mazy runs in the opening moments. The breakthrough, however, needed no silky skills but came from an old fashioned hoof up the park by Willie McCulloch.

The keeper's clearance was enough to outsmart Wedderburn and that left Shagger an unhampered run at goal. From the right edge of the box he had the time and composure the fire a low shot across their goalie and into the far corner of the goal. It was a crackin' finish and sure to be good for the striker's confidence. The Lino's keeper however had a rather sheepish look about him when he pulled himself up off his arse.

He was noticeably more embarrassed just five minutes later. We'd tried another high ball forward for Shagger to run onto (inspired thinking by the management team – all you folk who huckle the gaffer should be ashamed of yourselves... well, mebbe no') but O'Connor came running out from his line to intercept. Sure, he rose like a gazelle and plucked the ball out of the air, stopping the attack – impressive enough. Sadly, the daft big tosser forgot Newton's first law of motion (anyone notice how much physics there is in ma match reports?) and just kept on going, heading out of his box and towards the home stand. The force of his anguished beamer was all that eventually stopped him! That'll be a free kick for us and an early bath for him...

As the goalie headed east, the bairns he'd left behind huddled together in the box in an attempt to form something that resembled a defensive wall. It would have worked perfectly if they'd been trying to protect the corner flag but for the black and gold fans behind the goal the only question that had to be answered was which one of our heroes would be poking the ball into the far corner. In the end it was a most straightforward job for Jason Dair to slip on a blindfold, spin three times and move forward to take the kick – even then it was too easy and he slotted the ball into an almost empty net.

With half an hour still to go we already had one hand on the cup. Now was the time to relax and do our best to humiliate our hosts. Jordyn Sheerin had an opportunity to write himself a chapter in Fife folklore with barely twenty minutes remaining. The youngster combined well with McManus, slipped the ball past first Wedderburn and then sub goalie, Findlay, and looked pinned on to slide the ball away for number three – unbelievably, however, he contrived to sklaff his shot wide and the danger passed.

He didnae dwell long on his disappointment, mind, and minutes later was in the thick of things again dragging his marker wide and allowing Paul Nugent the room to run at goal. As he got ready to shoot he was clobbered from behind and the rest, as the say, is history – Shagger scored, we all cheered, the Lino Likkers' hearts were broker and... Kevin went in the cream puff. Quality!

There was to be no more scoring tonight but that didn't stop us trying – only some top notch saves from the Linos' stand-in keeper thwarted us. Shagger, Lloydie and young Cargill (who'd replaced Sheerin with twenty minutes remaining) all came close but the best chance of all probably fell to Cargill in the last minute of the match. To be fair to the young man, he'd played a hell of a lot better than his half time shenanigans had suggested he would, but with the last kick of the game should surely have done better – his attempted chip over the oncoming keeper was only ever going over and left us all thinking that maybe he should just have slid the ball to either side of the goalie. Still, he'll learn and in any case, it was to be of no consequence.

Moments later the cheat brought the game to an end and we'd grabbed a deserved victory against the Lino Likkers. Nice to see that when it came to a big game with a cup up for grabs, we were well able to come up with the goods. And that will surely give us confidence now to fight our way to the end of the season – nothin' much left to play for but professional pride seems a good enough reason for me.

Off to Hampden on Saturday so gie them a cheer for me an' ah'll see you all next week back at Bayview for the Alloa game. C'mon the Fife – absolutely, definitely, positively KINGS OF FIFE!!!!

Nae photos tonight - was good just tae be at the gemme as a punter...