Jammy, Jammy Hedgemen...

30th Aug 2008: East Fife 0, Brechin City 0 (Barrs Scottish League Division Two)

Mind ah was sayin' that ah was hopin' tae cajole ma missis intae seein' Barcelona on her birthday? Naw? Well it makes nae difference noo anyway: simple fact is ah didnae. We arrived in Krakow last Tuesday lunchtime, sat down in the square and ordered a couple of beers. Sittin' at the table next tae us were a group of lads, let's call them Barcelona supporters, who were enjoying some banter with a group of locals across the way, let's call them Wisla Krakow supporters. The wife took a cool swig of her beer, mmmmmed her approval and leaned over towards me smiling...

"For starters, baldy, the game's the night, no the morra," she muttered, "and, in any case, it's just never gonna happen so get that look aff yer puss!"

So that was that. We checked into our hotel, quick wash and then out into the delights of Krakow and had an outstandin' first night. As a concession (well, we had been up early), she consented to a relatively premature end to proceedings, allowing me to enjoy a beer and the last twenty minutes of the game in the hotel bar before heading off tae bed.

No' bad gemme a fitba, result (on the night at least) for the local heroes and.... as the final whistle sounded the barman switched off the telly. Well, the picture certainly disappeared but, somehow, ah could still hear the crowd. He smiled at me and said, "Oh, yes sir, the stadium's right next door; they'll be making some noise for a while yet...." While the missus was givin it zeds, ah could have been there... Aggggh!

Fortunately, the next few days provided no similar nasty surprises - Krakov's a great place, cheap food, tasty beer, friendly people and magic atmosphere; in fact, just the opposite of Kirkcaldy! Ah'd recommend it to anyone wi' just one proviso. Before you book yer return flight, make sure that you check the fuckin' fixture list properly. Where did I ever get the idea that we'd no' have a game on the last Saturday in August..?

(Although, ah'm sure there was a thread on AFTN when the list was published that suggested we didn't have a home game between the sixteenth of August and the twenty seventh of September. There was, wasn't there....? There fuckin' was..!)

Made nae difference in any case. The game was on, ah was a thousand miles away and the best ah could hope for was a big hun sending me updates as he saw them on SKY and heard then on Radio Scotland (so pretty much hee-haw, then...). The lads ran out looking to capitalise on home advantage for the first time this season. We certainly should have known what to expect from our visitors - this was our third game against Brechin in a month - our hopes rested with whatever tactical adjustments Dave Baikie could come up with.

Well, whatever the plans, the fans didnae see an awful lot tae get excited about in the first half. Both sides appeared up for it but all too often the passes went astray and it proved to be an easy forty five minutes for both defences. It didn't stop the lads trying, mind, and we should probably have opened the scoring on the quarter hour mark when big Jay rose to meet a Dougie Cameron corner, only for their keeper to (just about) get in the way and clear the danger.

Before the interval we created another couple of half chances, neither Dougie nor Torro being quite sharp enough to make the most of the opportunities but, as the seconds ticked away, most thoughts turned away from the game and towards the half time refreshments and the hope that maybe, just maybe, things would look up in the second half. By now, of course, it was teatime in Poland and ah was startin' tae think about makin' a move for the airport. Beep-beep went the mobile, nil-nil at the break an' that sounded just fine tae me... but ah guess it just showed that ah'd been naewhere near Bayview tae suffer the tedium of the first forty five...

Things were soon to improve, however. Baikie's famous half-time-tirade appeared to be back on form as the boys came out really fired up after the break. The whole team had far more pace about them and looked altogether far more focused. The Hedgemen's midweek efforts against Killie in the cup were starting to catch up with them and they posed no real threat in the remainder of the game. All that was left for the Fife was to open the scoring and grab the full three points.

Sadly, however, the Brechin keeper, Craig Nelson, had other plans. If he'd ridden his luck a bit in the first half, he was on outstanding form in the second. In the early stages he made fine saves that kept both Shagger and the Boaby frustrated. Both forwards continued to press, mind, and fought it out together for the man of the match award - the Boaby just about edged it for his overall performance.

At the other end, McCulloch had fuck all to do. Midway through the half, Brechin made a rare move into Fife territory but Smartie was well able to take the ball away from Charlie King, the big forward left with nothing more than a feeble dive in the box in a cheat's effort to claim a penalty. The ref was havin' none of it but the striker should think himself lucky that the whistler didnae reach for a card.

If Brechin were enjoying some good fortune, we weren't to be blessed wi' much at all. Baikie made a couple of changes, O'Reilly in particular making an impressive addition to proceedings and helping to keep the pace up. With about ten minutes to go and continuing to bear down on the Brechin defence, another opportunity fell to Paul McManus, his shot once again parried past the post by the keeper. Late on, O'Reilly and Fozzie had further half chances but their efforts were both thwarted.

Heading into injury time it was evident that we were to get nothing more than a solitary point out of what had still become a one-sided encounter. We were awarded a late free kick but, despite his best efforts to repeat last weekend's Gayfield heroics, the Fozzmeister was unable to beat Nelson. Time ran out on another hardworking display by the guys and the fans in the stand had to be satisfied with the nil-nil final score. But, it's another point in the table - still not what we're after but it's noticeable that now, a few games in, the form's starting to work out.

In spite of our disappointing start to the season, we're now ahead of both our Third Division rivals from last season. That's certainly something to take heart from but more importantly, we're still holding it together as a team, we're still creating chances and we still have one of the better squads in the divison. It'll come... don't be too surprised if we horse the Lino Likkers in a fortnight... By that time, ah'll definitely be back so it'll be nice tae see my first three pointer of the season against that shower of scum!

Enjoy the international break - and then get there in numbers tae cheer on the Kings of Fife!