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Or, as the best surrealist soccer sites would say, "There's more than one way tae scare a squirrel with three legs!". And, if you planned it carefully enough, you probably wouldn't even need that many....
My missus scared the shite out of me today - I'd gone into work early and was gettin' ready to head home at lunchtime when she called me. "Thought you'd be headin' to Bayview the day;" she mused, "just heard the guy on Kingdom FM talkin' about the game....". Canny be, I thought, but switched ma PC on again, got online and checked, just in case. And, of course, the BBC confirmed the lads were indeed heading to Borough Briggs after all. Relieved, I headed off and.... missed ma train!
But apart fae that an' gettin' soaked ootside ASDA later this afternoon, that was as bad as it got today. Relying once again on SKY Sports and BBC Radio Scotland, it was only the occasional snippet that filtered through - but it was great to see at twenty past three that we'd taken the lead - quarter of an hour ago. Who cares, news of a goal can take as long as it likes; it's still fuckin' great when yer team takes the lead. Even as the half time score was drifting through - just after four, on ma way tae ma drenching - it was with excitement rather than trepidation that ah looked forward tae the second forty five...
And, as far as I can gather (an' it's no' much, granted...), ah wouldn't have been disappointed. A Tweed goal just seven minutes in had taken the pressure right off the Fife who were pretty much in control until just before the break when our hard working hosts managed to grab an equaliser. All square at the interval left us a bit flat but only reinforced the truth - no matter how well we play this season, it's still gonna be tough keeping ahead of the rest.
And with that in mind, the boys came out for the second and continued to pile on the pressure. Our hosts also worked hard and continued to give as good as they got in an end to end tussle. However, our efforts were rewarded just past the hour mark when Craig O'Reilly snatched the ball after some poor defending and casually slipped it through to Paul Walker - he was more than happy to slide it past their dispairing keeper to regain the advantage.
And that should have been enough for us to secure the points. I'm realising, however, even at this early stage of the season that there's more to being a Fife supporter than initially meets the eye. Elgin pressed forward against a gallant Fife defence but we were breached with just fifteen minutes remaining and our hosts deservedly evened things up again. With regained confidence City were looking to grab all the points and we'd probably have been happy for the ref to blow his whistle then and there.
But our pride insisted that we hang on in and slowly we managed to push Elgin back and create some chances at the other end. As we moved into injury time it was still anyone's game with no quarter given or asked for by either side. Some heroics in our defence kept the ball away from McCulloch's goal while at the other end the home defence was also just about keeping us out. Right at the death however, their hearts were broken when Kevin Gordon rose to head home from close range and ensure that the Fife's never-say-die attitude was to be rewarded.
The wait was interminable but at the back of five SKY Sports finally confirmed that the game was over. My new team had done it and were heading down the long road home with our 100% record intact. A wee sherbet for me and, more importantly, the pleasure of knowing that it's back to Bayview next week for Stranraer - that challenge should show us all just how good a side we really have become.
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