Fifers Off To A Flying Start...

4th Aug 2007: East Fife 3, East Stirlingshire 1 (Barrs Scottish League Division Three)

How good is this? Saturday afternoon; three o'clock kick-off; numbers one to eleven on their backs - both teams! And my new heroes opening their campaign against FIFA's lowest ranked team, East Stirlingshire FC. At quarter past two ah still wusnae even thinkin' about the fuba - still up at Sainsburys pickin' up ma beer - £4.49 for a four pack of Abbots; what kinda bargain is that?

Nearly as good at the ten quid entry fee half an hour later at New Bayview - my spiritual home for the next ten months. Two fifty a goal, one pound ten a pint on the Abbots and ma missus pickin' me up and getting me home by half five - it's gonna be a great season!

Mind, ah wusnae thinkin' that forty minutes into today's match. It wasn't adding up - WE were in the play-offs just two months ago; THEY were getting warned about gettin' booted out of the league if they finished rock bottom again. Everything was clear - so why did the visitors appear to be the only team likely to score? Hmmmm. Fitba's great, eh? Thank fuck the weather was good (and I had eight bottles of bevvy cooling nicely in the fridge....).

So, the less said about the first half, the better. Luckily, however, I bumped into the God of Fuck at the interval - his reassurance that they'd be gettin' the Riot Act read to them downstairs was enough to perk me up. I was almost tempted tae hae one of Bayview's famous Chicken Tikka Masala Pies but that'll mebbe have tae wait until the desperation really sets in - Michael tells me that should be well before he leaves for Canada at the end of September... But no, I put that horror out of my mind for the time being and talked myself into believing that things would be better in the second half. And, fuck me, they were....

Within a minute of the restart we'd taken the lead. The big blonde number ten (hey, it's only ma fifth game, I'll get tae know the players later) was credited with the goal - fortunately, we'll never see it on the telly so he'll no doubt accept the plaudits. However, the three defenders who contrived to bundle the ball into the net will be arguing long into the night to distance themselves from the own-goal. Nae luck lads - we saw it.... Ure the one!

We had a fifteen minute period when we were in complete control; every time we moved forward we created a chance. However, one silly defensive mistake cost us dear. Leaving just one man back, even ex-Fifer and bus-pass qualifier, Joe Savage, was able to power his way onto the ball and head for goal. Could maybe be a bit critical of the keeper for being beaten at his near post but, if truth be told, if it had been at the other end we'd have been raving about the great finish. With the benefit of writing this report well after the match and the knowledge of two more Fife goals, my magnanimity knows no bounds. Great goal Shire; you deserved it.

Boosted by their equaliser, Shire came right back into it and gave as good as they got. With the Football Gods watching on (and, no doubt chuckling away....), it was inevitable that the game would turn again on a controversial decision. The whistler blew and awarded the Fife a free kick; while our visitors moaned about it, we pressed forward and, follwing an impressive stramash in the box, Greig McDonald somehow managed to squeeze the ball home. It wasnae pretty but it didnae have tae be - they all count and, if it was gonna be enough for all three points, then it was an early contender for goal of the season.

However, that was still to come! With time running out we pressed forward, almost serious about an icing on the cake finish. And, lo and behold, we got it. As the crowd screamed abuse at the ref for getting in the way, Paul Stewart happily ignored him, made space for a shot and blasted home from twenty five yards. It really doesn't matter who you follow or at what level you watch yer fitba, the fact is that there's nothing better than seein' the net bulging after the ball's been skelped fae ootside the box...

Perfect way to end the afternoon - and set us up nicely for the Doon Hamers on Wednesday. Bring them on - we'll do them!!!!